Monday, 21 October 2013


This is just fantastic – seriously! Cauliflower is fast become my best favourite, most versatile food!

2 leeks, sliced
1 whole cauliflower head, cut up
2 beef stock cubes (yeah, yeah – stock’s not an animal. Shh. Fine, use vegetable).
Some canola oil (again – never use vegetable oil as it’s basically the ground up carcasses of orang-utans.)

In a low to moderately hot oven, place the sliced up leeks and tablespoon of oil. Give them a good stir even as they cook, so that they cook evenly in the oil. You want the oven to be low to moderate so that they caramelise rather than cook quickly – 20 minutes.
Meanwhile, in 6 cups of water, dissolve the cubes of whatever fucking stock you use and simmer the cauliflower until it’s nice and tender – about 15 minutes. The water will evaporate too much if you boil it, in which case you should add another cup at the end.
Add the leeks and, with a stab blender, pretend there’s a wanker who just had a go at you for using a beef stock cube, and stab the shit out of it until it’s beautiful and smooth and – somehow – creamy.
God I love cauliflower; the chameleon of food.
This has next to no calories, and it’s very filling on its own. If you want to impress someone who isn’t a vegan, you can also add bacon.
p.s. vegetable oil isn’t really the ground up carcasses of orang-utans, but it’d be good if people thought they were cos vegetable is palm oil which is just as bad.


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